March comes in like a lion…

March is by far my favorite month of the year, the spring season fighting to surface while winters till tries to hold on for just a few more weeks. Yesterday it was beautiful out, but right now I am sitting in my kitchen, looking out the window at dark angry clouds as I wait for the big snow storm to hit. I love the snow and I love the beautifully warm spring days. Unfortunately, the fluctuating temperatures cause confusion in my brain and I tend to get the flu around this time. I hoped to escape it this year, but the weather at 70 degrees one day and snowing the next was just too much and I got sick.
Whenever I am sick, I want to just curl up in bed and hide from the world. Of course, this is not possible as there are too many responsibilities in life. So, I had to still get out of bed, despite the killer headache and the aching muscles. I powdered my nose and put a smile on my face even though my entire body was screaming for rest. As expected, all this did was make things worse and my entire life was thrown off balance for a good two weeks by the common flu.
Warning: I am going to whine…just for a moment. I have this really great guy (who we will call Cowboy Jake since he reminds me so much of Jake from Finding Chloe) and I also had my spring break from school only days away when I was leveled by the first wave of sickness. Being an optimistic person, I hoped it was only allergies so I popped a couple OTC allergy pills and kept on going, but that didn’t last long and before you know it, I was hunkering down at home. I didn’t want Cowboy Jake to worry overly much, but as the days added up he muscled his way into my room and insisted I go to the hospital. I was too weak to fight him, so I ended up in the hospital pretty well dehydrated. I cannot express the miracles of IV fluids enough, just walking out of there after a few hours I felt 1000 times better.
So yeah, my spring break was pretty much wasted in bed and just keeping up with school since then has been difficult. I won’t even go into how difficult it is to drag myself to work each day haha. I am definitely on the upswing of this sickness, but if anyone else out there hasn’t had the flu shot, I suggest you get it. This flu is definitely the worst I have ever had. I am getting the flu shot next season for sure, but I always say that 🙂
I just wanted to post an update and say a big thank you to everyone who has e-mailed in the past few weeks with kind words and questions. I am working on a couple different projects and am excited to finish them in the next weeks. This month has been madness, but I am glad the warmer months are fast approaching. Here’s to hoping that March leaves like a lamb…

adventures and mishaps with alpha males

I am naturally attracted to alpha males. It’s true, and even if I try to step outside the norm and stay away from the alpha personalities, I always find myself circling back around to the type of men who eventually end up breaking my heart. When I first started dating, I believed that alpha was synonymous with chivalrous. This error in judgment led to many heartbreaks and a great deal of bad relationships. Is it even possible for an alpha male to be chivalrous and caring or does that just go against what makes the man alpha in the first place?

Not many people know that I have experienced both sides of domestic discipline, the good and the bad. There is the wonderful, caring, guiding discipline that is administered by a person who truly cares for your well-being. They can give direction that is empowering rather than making you feel like less of a person. On the other side, I have experienced domestic discipline that can very clearly be defined as domestic violence. This type of relationship could be borderline abuse or even (many times) straight out abuse, administered by a man who was far too interested in causing pain than in offering loving guidance.

I will forever carry scars, physically and emotionally, from these relationships. These scars can clearly be seen in my books where the story might turn a bit violent or the man becomes more cruel than loving. I don’t know why this happens, and maybe writing it out is a form of self-therapy for me. Actually, I know writing it out has become a form of therapy for me. Detailing some experiences that I may have experienced, or how I have perceived these experiences is somehow cathartic. It’s how I interpret my world, or how I reflect on my healing.

I know not everyone agrees with the level of discipline in my books, but having experienced harsh punishments in past relationships, I understand the characters in these books better than I understand myself sometimes. I know how and why the characters validate the male’s behavior or rationalize why they stay with him, I know this because I have done it myself, over and over again. The psychological impact of domestic discipline and domestic violence is often ignored in many of the books available.

My goal has never been to publish a bestselling book, actually I am far too shy to have that kind of notoriety. I would be more apt to disappear from the publishing world before embracing that kind of notoriety. The encouraging emails from readers who have related with my books or loved my writing style have been all the notoriety that I need. My characters are my first concern, and my loyal readers are next.  My goals in sharing my books are to hopefully entertain others and to give myself a form of validation to all the wrong choices I have made in my life. Hopefully the experience will give me better direction in my life than what I have found so far.

Mastered by the Marquis

I know I am a bit late on posting this, but Amazon has been finicky and temperamental, so I did not want to put out a misleading link.
I published the second part of the Victorian domestic discipline story. Mastered by the Marquis is about the Marquis of Havenshire and his experience with, Violet, the woman he chooses from Miss Doreen’s Home for Girls.
Historical Domestic Discipline Romance
Lord Warren James, Marquis of Havenshire is content with remaining single. Warren believes a woman belongs in the house caring for her husband and children and not involved in political or business matters. The new women’s movement sweeping through the nation has made his search for a wife impossible.
Warren watched his good friend Harrison Graham, Duke of Fallbrook, fall in love with an untitled woman who understands the proper role of husband and wife. Warren follows in Harrison’s footsteps by visiting Miss Doreen’s Home for Girls and bringing home Violet, a woman who turns out to be feistier than Warren anticipated.
The Marquis of Havenshire has no intention of allowing his wife to rule over him, so he takes her in hand and teaches her that even adult women can earn themselves a spanking.
For adults only!

marquis

Musings over My Morning Tea

With the changing season and a sudden gust of cooler weather, I find myself more inclined to stay indoors each day. I add an extra blanket to the bed and desperately try to hold onto those sweet wisps of dreams for just a few more minutes. Unfortunately, morning must come and along with it comes a long list of errands and appointments that cannot be pushed off any longer.

I will be able to post more later this evening, but I have been busy publishing a couple short books that I worked on over my downtime in the past few months. You can look on Amazon or Smashwords for an updated list, but I will post a bit about the new books later this evening. I believe one of the books will be unavailable most of today on Amazon because of a pricing typo, but it should be back later this evening.

A good hard spanking and the emotional toll of divorce

I have spent many hours over the past few weeks helping a good friend of mine after she was served with divorce papers out of the blue. This experience has been heart wrenching to watch and very emotionally exhausting for my friend and myself.

The couple have been good friends to both my man and I for many years. We weren’t particularly close but as their relationship and marriage are now unraveling before us we both have become inseperable-my man and the husband, and me and the wife. This arrangement is very difficult as it seems we have become the troubled couple at times and my man and I have fought like it was US going through the problems!

What a weird sensation! Want to know what the big difference is? DD.

This has made me wonder if our friends would not be experiencing the heartache of a divorce if they had known about DD. Would a good hard spanking have changed anything or just made the problems bigger? I am much too modest to mention any such thing to them, but I often wonder if their marriage could be saved? My man wants to tell them, and likely will in time, but who knows if their marriage is destroyed beyond repair.

 

Life Blending into Writing

I was told by a dozen people over the past few years that I had a very unique writing style. I was never told if this was positive or negative, and nobody was ever able to explain to me what the meaning of ‘unique’ was. It was just who I was, how I wrote, and I have never been able to change that no matter how I have tried. I was encouraged by one of my college professors a few years ago to start writing based off a paper I wrote on statistical processes. Who would have thought I would later be writing erotic romance stories, right?

Curious, I sat down in front of my computer one day and just started writing, and haven’t really stopped since. I fall in love with my characters, celebrate with them, and get angry with them. I also get bored easily! I guess I might have a little bit of ADD or maybe I am a dreamer with too many stories in my head. My books take longer to write as I have 30-50  half-written books at any time. I always go back and finish my books within time, reading through what I had written previously with a warm heart as if meeting again with a good friend after months or years apart.

I recently finished the book Bound Together by Snow: Zoe’s Personal Fairytale. I give the description of the book below for those interested. When I returned to Zoe’s story after months of leaving it alone, I was surprised with the direction I was taking Zoe and her husband Brandon, the book is more than a bit dark and the punishments are somewhat harsh and unfair.

I realized that I had written the book when I was in a very dark place personally with a great deal of turmoil during those months. It was both sad and therapeutic to see how my personal struggles can so easily be transferred into my writing.  I rewrote a good deal of what I had written in this story, but if you are familiar with my other books you will see the difference. I left some of those harsh punishments and dark thoughts as a reminder to myself of where I was and how far I have come from there. I am curious what my other books say about me. How much can someone read into an author’s life based on their writing? Or are other authors able to separate life and fiction so easily that crossover does not occur? I seem to purge when I write, the story taking over, the characters telling their story and I just follow along, watching with wide eyes as the story unfolds. They have a story to tell too.