March comes in like a lion…

March is by far my favorite month of the year, the spring season fighting to surface while winters till tries to hold on for just a few more weeks. Yesterday it was beautiful out, but right now I am sitting in my kitchen, looking out the window at dark angry clouds as I wait for the big snow storm to hit. I love the snow and I love the beautifully warm spring days. Unfortunately, the fluctuating temperatures cause confusion in my brain and I tend to get the flu around this time. I hoped to escape it this year, but the weather at 70 degrees one day and snowing the next was just too much and I got sick.
Whenever I am sick, I want to just curl up in bed and hide from the world. Of course, this is not possible as there are too many responsibilities in life. So, I had to still get out of bed, despite the killer headache and the aching muscles. I powdered my nose and put a smile on my face even though my entire body was screaming for rest. As expected, all this did was make things worse and my entire life was thrown off balance for a good two weeks by the common flu.
Warning: I am going to whine…just for a moment. I have this really great guy (who we will call Cowboy Jake since he reminds me so much of Jake from Finding Chloe) and I also had my spring break from school only days away when I was leveled by the first wave of sickness. Being an optimistic person, I hoped it was only allergies so I popped a couple OTC allergy pills and kept on going, but that didn’t last long and before you know it, I was hunkering down at home. I didn’t want Cowboy Jake to worry overly much, but as the days added up he muscled his way into my room and insisted I go to the hospital. I was too weak to fight him, so I ended up in the hospital pretty well dehydrated. I cannot express the miracles of IV fluids enough, just walking out of there after a few hours I felt 1000 times better.
So yeah, my spring break was pretty much wasted in bed and just keeping up with school since then has been difficult. I won’t even go into how difficult it is to drag myself to work each day haha. I am definitely on the upswing of this sickness, but if anyone else out there hasn’t had the flu shot, I suggest you get it. This flu is definitely the worst I have ever had. I am getting the flu shot next season for sure, but I always say that 🙂
I just wanted to post an update and say a big thank you to everyone who has e-mailed in the past few weeks with kind words and questions. I am working on a couple different projects and am excited to finish them in the next weeks. This month has been madness, but I am glad the warmer months are fast approaching. Here’s to hoping that March leaves like a lamb…

Needing a little chat with Santa

Every year, the holiday season is one of my favorite times. The Christmas season seems to bring out the best in people, at least around here. People are nicer and smiles are brighter. Children seem to laugh more often, adults giddy with that small spark of belief still shining in their eyes. I must admit that when I was at the mall yesterday, I actually got excited seeing the staff setting up Santa’s Chair. Just one more week and Santa will be sitting at the mall and listening with a patient ear and a wide smile as one child after another puts all their faith and trust in the jolly man.

I must admit, even as an adult, I always get the urge to stand in that ridiculously long line so I can crawl up into Santa’s lap again. No matter what mall it is or where in the nation, Santa has always been one of the only constants in life. People move, people change, but Santa is always just Santa.

I have never seen Santa mad, angry, or sad. Santa is the epitome of happiness. Santa gives me such hope that despite all the changes in the world that are systematically destroying us, everything will be okay. Climbing up onto Santa’s lap, just for a moment, just for a smile or a promise of magical things to come will always be something I desire. Is it because I miss having such complete faith in a man that so unselfishly gives? Or is it the loss of my innocence that I am missing? I’m not sure, but I do know that Santa will always be real in my mind. Santa is far more than just a man, he is a promise of a better tomorrow, a lasting legacy that can make nearly anyone smile whether you are age two or eighty-two. Santa is hope and belief and magic. Sometimes in life we all need just a moment to believe in magic once again when the real world starts to get too serious and we need just a moment of escape. I hope that as this holiday season begins, all of you are able to grasp onto that holiday magic once more!

Stepping Out of my Comfort Zone…. and introducing a new book

I guess it isn’t really a secret that I am fairly shy and reserved. I am an introvert, through and through, and when I am stuck attending social outings on a daily basis I seem to lose track of the rest of my life, little by little. September was one of those months where I had very little time at home. The days just blended from one to the next and I literally spent the entire day of September the 30th (yesterday!) thinking there was still another week left in September!  No, I am not losing my mind, at least I hope not! I am winding down in school and am finishing off the last courses of my Masters degree, it is one of the most terrifying periods in my life! I am almost considered a professional expert in my field. Yes, very terrifying since most days I feel I have no idea what I am doing.

September was a month that wasn’t typical by any means. To follow along with that theme, I had this itch to write a Victorian domestic discipline book, seriously! So, I am introducing a new book, Punished by the Duke my first attempt at historical writing as a novice historical author.

History was one of those classes that I just didn’t like in high school, so my desire to write this was surprising and please remember this when reading if there are any historical errors (I am sure there are many!)

Punished by the Duke:

Harrison Graham, the Duke of Fallbrook, has been given a direct order from the Queen. He must marry or forfeit his title. Desperate for a bride and not finding any in town to be suitable, Harrison comes up with an unusual way to follow the Queen’s order and secure his title.

A visit to Miss Doreen’s Home for Girls, an orphanage many miles outside of town, gives Harrison just the woman he needs, even if she is a little rough around the edges.
Maggie has been an orphan for as long as she can remember. She never expected to be married to a Duke, let alone put over his knee and punished by him. Maggie quickly learns to keep in line around Harrison and desperately tries to keep out of his sight, but when she starts to fall in love with him, she is determined to make him love her.
For ADULTS ONLY over the age of eighteen. Contains subjects that may be offensive to some people. Do not purchase or read this book if these subjects are uncomfortable for you: spanking of an adult woman, punishment, domestic discipline. All characters are over the age of eighteen and not related by blood.

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Musings over My Morning Tea

With the changing season and a sudden gust of cooler weather, I find myself more inclined to stay indoors each day. I add an extra blanket to the bed and desperately try to hold onto those sweet wisps of dreams for just a few more minutes. Unfortunately, morning must come and along with it comes a long list of errands and appointments that cannot be pushed off any longer.

I will be able to post more later this evening, but I have been busy publishing a couple short books that I worked on over my downtime in the past few months. You can look on Amazon or Smashwords for an updated list, but I will post a bit about the new books later this evening. I believe one of the books will be unavailable most of today on Amazon because of a pricing typo, but it should be back later this evening.

Listen to your elders….right?

life

Life is a series of lessons. As adolescents we think we know it all, defying all the advice from our parents, grandparents, and any adult figure. Basically, all the people who really do know better than we do.

We go out into the world, jumping in with both feet, not even looking to see if the water is hot or if we are jumping into the mouth of a crocodile, we just jump, certain that we know better and will do better than those before us because we are smarter, right?

The first stumble is a blow to our ego, but we rise up, dust ourselves off, and keep going because one mistake doesn’t make a bad person. Then life begins to hit us with one thing after another, we start saying things like, “if it’s not raining, then it’s pouring”  Life becomes a series of mistakes and bad decisions that add up, one after the other, a wicked storybook detailing the moments we are most ashamed of.

Before long, things begin to settle down. Life seems to become more of a dirt road with bumps and curves, but fairly even.

Then out of nowhere, without any warning, our past comes back to haunt us…for whatever reason, nobody really knows, it seems like it is just another cruel game that life likes to play with us.  And the entire time, even years after leaving home, all you can think is, “I should have listened to my parents.” Yet, despite the warnings of generations past, we all make that same mistakes. Certain that our parents don’t understand our generation, they don’t know what it is like because things are different.

Looking back, I know now that nothing ever really changes. Little things like fashion may change or technology improves like cell phones compared to corded home phones, but all in all, people are people. Every girl in high school still gets her heart broken by that boy who swore he loved her and would love her forever only to shatter her heart to pieces when he gets whatever he wanted from her.

What is my point with this post, you ask? I have no idea lol. I was born in the era where spankings were being pushed aside for punishments like time-out. I can’t tell you how long I spent in that time-out chair when I was a child, but I am sure it was an awful long time.

I was warned about men who were mean, abusive, and cruel. Men should be doting and caring, my parents would say. Knowing that physical punishment was on that list of “bad men to date”, I know they would not approve of my penchant for picking men who are more dominant, alpha men who carry themselves with confidence and strength. What my parents don’t understand is that dominant men, a real dominant man, is not abusive but completely caring and loving. I have been treated like a princess, my needs put first in all ways, with a dominant man. I can’t say that I have ever felt that cherished by any man who was not into DD that I dated.

So what if a man put his woman over his knee and spanks her when she is acting like a spoiled brat, or that he paddles her bottom when she has put herself in danger? What is so wrong with that if it is consensual, if it is not excessive and if it is something that works for them, as a couple? Who are we to judge? In this day and age, really what can people say?

There are many mistakes that I wish I had listened to my parents on, like credit scores and how important they are. It took me having a bad credit rating to realize how difficult it is in life with bad credit, thankfully that has been fixed since then, but what a waste of time! So yes, my parents were right on credit scores and paying bills on time, but maybe with this one thing about dominant men, maybe they are wrong. Life is more fulfilling to me when I am with a man who is focused on me and taking care of me, is that so bad? Am I blinded by my own desires to see the truth? Are my parents right and am I just having life teach me another lesson? I just want to believe that maybe my parents just don’t know enough about a DD relationship to really make the right judgment. It isn’t about abuse like many believe, it is about love and respect. And maybe people aren’t giving DD the chance it deserves.

Finding Chloe…and other madness

Recently I have been playing around with a story idea and I really didn’t know where it was going and had no idea how it would end. I would visit the characters every now and then and add a little bit more to the story here and there, but it was never really pressing on my heart to give much attention to the story until a few weeks ago.
It is the weirdest feeling to just have a complete story grow in your mind and you can’t do anything but obsess over getting it written down before it disappears. So that is what I have been doing over the past few weeks! I have been concentrating on this one story that had been sitting around just waiting for me to pay attention. I have spent too many late nights staying up because I was afraid to fall asleep, afraid I would lose the words that I was needing to get down on paper (or computer screen!) Well, as with most relationships, when you spend so much time together you grow a fondness that can be both confusing and exciting. I fell in love with these characters and I can honestly say that it is one of my favorite stories so far, even though I do grow a fondness for them all, each character was created as a representation of myself at different points in my life. It is really quite deep, psychologically, if you really got into it and started to dissect it, but that is a subject best suited for a psychologist 🙂
I grew to love these characters so much. Chloe and Jake became my best friends over the past few weeks. I found the entire experience with them was a lot of fun and I am a bit sad to see them go.
I finished writing Finding Chloe last night around 2 AM and as I finished the editing and formatting, I felt like I was losing a best friend as I posted it online for publishing. I had become so close to the main character, Chloe, that it was sad to see her go. It is the oddest feeling to get attached to characters that you create. Some things are beyond description.
For anyone interested in Finding Chloe, I have posted a description below. It is available at smashwords, Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, and KOBO. The picture is actually a link to the book on Amazon (I figured out how to do this all by myself!) One of my more proud moments of the new year since I really know very little about computers! I really hope that I can reach the reader in my books, I know I can’t reach everybody, but just one person, that is the kind of thing that makes this all worthwhile, lord knows that I don’t write for the money!

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