March comes in like a lion…

March is by far my favorite month of the year, the spring season fighting to surface while winters till tries to hold on for just a few more weeks. Yesterday it was beautiful out, but right now I am sitting in my kitchen, looking out the window at dark angry clouds as I wait for the big snow storm to hit. I love the snow and I love the beautifully warm spring days. Unfortunately, the fluctuating temperatures cause confusion in my brain and I tend to get the flu around this time. I hoped to escape it this year, but the weather at 70 degrees one day and snowing the next was just too much and I got sick.
Whenever I am sick, I want to just curl up in bed and hide from the world. Of course, this is not possible as there are too many responsibilities in life. So, I had to still get out of bed, despite the killer headache and the aching muscles. I powdered my nose and put a smile on my face even though my entire body was screaming for rest. As expected, all this did was make things worse and my entire life was thrown off balance for a good two weeks by the common flu.
Warning: I am going to whine…just for a moment. I have this really great guy (who we will call Cowboy Jake since he reminds me so much of Jake from Finding Chloe) and I also had my spring break from school only days away when I was leveled by the first wave of sickness. Being an optimistic person, I hoped it was only allergies so I popped a couple OTC allergy pills and kept on going, but that didn’t last long and before you know it, I was hunkering down at home. I didn’t want Cowboy Jake to worry overly much, but as the days added up he muscled his way into my room and insisted I go to the hospital. I was too weak to fight him, so I ended up in the hospital pretty well dehydrated. I cannot express the miracles of IV fluids enough, just walking out of there after a few hours I felt 1000 times better.
So yeah, my spring break was pretty much wasted in bed and just keeping up with school since then has been difficult. I won’t even go into how difficult it is to drag myself to work each day haha. I am definitely on the upswing of this sickness, but if anyone else out there hasn’t had the flu shot, I suggest you get it. This flu is definitely the worst I have ever had. I am getting the flu shot next season for sure, but I always say that 🙂
I just wanted to post an update and say a big thank you to everyone who has e-mailed in the past few weeks with kind words and questions. I am working on a couple different projects and am excited to finish them in the next weeks. This month has been madness, but I am glad the warmer months are fast approaching. Here’s to hoping that March leaves like a lamb…

Mail Order Brides

I decided to venture into the historical romance realm again with a new series about mail order brides, but adding in the twist of domestic discipline. So far, I have only one book finished, but I hope to do a few more in the coming months. These books are not my typical style as they are set in the late 1800’s to early 1900’s when settlers were just beginning to stake their claims in western America. Women were scarce and mail order brides was a common practice for lonely men. The first book is titled: Mail Order Brides: A Well Punished Wife and is set in a fictional town in Montana. The description and link are below.

Mail Order Bride

Historical Domestic Discipline Romance

Logan Millard had two children and no wife. He already had his fair share of deceptive women when his wife had run off with a traveling salesman and he wanted nothing to do with women again until he realized he was not capable of handling his ranch and his children properly. Although Logan was ruled by dark desires that no woman could understand, let alone satisfy, he was desperate for a woman to mother his children and fulfill all the domestic duties around the house. Logan was certain a mail-order bride was the perfect choice. He could easily keep his hands off a spinster woman who was just desperate for a husband.
When Carolyn stepped off the train in Crandon, Montana, Logan found himself in a world of trouble. Not only was his mail-order bride young and beautiful, but she was igniting the dark desires that he had tried desperately to keep hidden. Carolyn finds her work on Logan’s ranch much harder than she anticipated and ends up bent over and being punished frequently by the man she married. When Logan starts to realize that Carolyn is not the woman she portrayed in her letters, Carolyn fears her new husband will figure out the truth. Can Carolyn keep her past hidden from Logan? Will Logan be able to trust his wife, knowing she is lying to him?
This book is intended for adults only. All acts and characters depicted in this story are fiction and any resemblance to real life is purely coincidental. This book contains material that may be offensive to some readers. Do not purchase or read this book if you are not comfortable with these subjects: Sexual content, mail order bride and spanking of an adult woman

Resolving to be Unresolved

I don’t believe in New Years resolutions. I know it goes against the grain of society considering everyone I know has already asked me what my New Years resolution is for this year and my answer is always the same, I don’t have one. In the past, I have always thought of something to say, a resolution that would be logical and something I was trying to work on anyway, but I decided that New Years resolutions are just another way to disappoint myself. You have to understand that there are no vices that I am particularly bound to. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs. I am a fairly straight and narrow goody-two-shoes, but I still enjoy attending the festivities of the New Year celebration.

I love this time of year because there is so much hope in the fresh start that the new year provides. When the clock flipped over to 2013, last year, I promised myself that I would not make any resolutions (which I inevitably break anyway) and I would not have any high aspirations or goals for the year. I would roll with the punches and take things as they came. Ironically, 2013 went down in my books as one of my better years in nearly every aspect of my life. Did I still have speed bumps and detours to navigate? Of course, but the road between them was far smoother than normal.

Because of the success of 2013, I am a bit apprehensive to set any goals or resolutions for 2014. I fear that tempting fate will lead to disaster, so I rang in the New Year with great friends and have set no resolution for me to attain. I do not believe it is being pessimistic, probably more realistic than anything else. I believe this formula is working well because it is Day 2 of the year 2014 and I have accomplished a great deal.

I am curious what others have chosen for their New Years resolutions. I have heard a great deal about quitting this or that, but are there any resolutions that are outside of the box? No matter what, I hope that everyone had a safe New Year and I wish only the best for everyone in 2014.

adventures and mishaps with alpha males

I am naturally attracted to alpha males. It’s true, and even if I try to step outside the norm and stay away from the alpha personalities, I always find myself circling back around to the type of men who eventually end up breaking my heart. When I first started dating, I believed that alpha was synonymous with chivalrous. This error in judgment led to many heartbreaks and a great deal of bad relationships. Is it even possible for an alpha male to be chivalrous and caring or does that just go against what makes the man alpha in the first place?

Not many people know that I have experienced both sides of domestic discipline, the good and the bad. There is the wonderful, caring, guiding discipline that is administered by a person who truly cares for your well-being. They can give direction that is empowering rather than making you feel like less of a person. On the other side, I have experienced domestic discipline that can very clearly be defined as domestic violence. This type of relationship could be borderline abuse or even (many times) straight out abuse, administered by a man who was far too interested in causing pain than in offering loving guidance.

I will forever carry scars, physically and emotionally, from these relationships. These scars can clearly be seen in my books where the story might turn a bit violent or the man becomes more cruel than loving. I don’t know why this happens, and maybe writing it out is a form of self-therapy for me. Actually, I know writing it out has become a form of therapy for me. Detailing some experiences that I may have experienced, or how I have perceived these experiences is somehow cathartic. It’s how I interpret my world, or how I reflect on my healing.

I know not everyone agrees with the level of discipline in my books, but having experienced harsh punishments in past relationships, I understand the characters in these books better than I understand myself sometimes. I know how and why the characters validate the male’s behavior or rationalize why they stay with him, I know this because I have done it myself, over and over again. The psychological impact of domestic discipline and domestic violence is often ignored in many of the books available.

My goal has never been to publish a bestselling book, actually I am far too shy to have that kind of notoriety. I would be more apt to disappear from the publishing world before embracing that kind of notoriety. The encouraging emails from readers who have related with my books or loved my writing style have been all the notoriety that I need. My characters are my first concern, and my loyal readers are next.  My goals in sharing my books are to hopefully entertain others and to give myself a form of validation to all the wrong choices I have made in my life. Hopefully the experience will give me better direction in my life than what I have found so far.

Mastered by the Marquis

I know I am a bit late on posting this, but Amazon has been finicky and temperamental, so I did not want to put out a misleading link.
I published the second part of the Victorian domestic discipline story. Mastered by the Marquis is about the Marquis of Havenshire and his experience with, Violet, the woman he chooses from Miss Doreen’s Home for Girls.
Historical Domestic Discipline Romance
Lord Warren James, Marquis of Havenshire is content with remaining single. Warren believes a woman belongs in the house caring for her husband and children and not involved in political or business matters. The new women’s movement sweeping through the nation has made his search for a wife impossible.
Warren watched his good friend Harrison Graham, Duke of Fallbrook, fall in love with an untitled woman who understands the proper role of husband and wife. Warren follows in Harrison’s footsteps by visiting Miss Doreen’s Home for Girls and bringing home Violet, a woman who turns out to be feistier than Warren anticipated.
The Marquis of Havenshire has no intention of allowing his wife to rule over him, so he takes her in hand and teaches her that even adult women can earn themselves a spanking.
For adults only!

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Stepping Out of my Comfort Zone…. and introducing a new book

I guess it isn’t really a secret that I am fairly shy and reserved. I am an introvert, through and through, and when I am stuck attending social outings on a daily basis I seem to lose track of the rest of my life, little by little. September was one of those months where I had very little time at home. The days just blended from one to the next and I literally spent the entire day of September the 30th (yesterday!) thinking there was still another week left in September!  No, I am not losing my mind, at least I hope not! I am winding down in school and am finishing off the last courses of my Masters degree, it is one of the most terrifying periods in my life! I am almost considered a professional expert in my field. Yes, very terrifying since most days I feel I have no idea what I am doing.

September was a month that wasn’t typical by any means. To follow along with that theme, I had this itch to write a Victorian domestic discipline book, seriously! So, I am introducing a new book, Punished by the Duke my first attempt at historical writing as a novice historical author.

History was one of those classes that I just didn’t like in high school, so my desire to write this was surprising and please remember this when reading if there are any historical errors (I am sure there are many!)

Punished by the Duke:

Harrison Graham, the Duke of Fallbrook, has been given a direct order from the Queen. He must marry or forfeit his title. Desperate for a bride and not finding any in town to be suitable, Harrison comes up with an unusual way to follow the Queen’s order and secure his title.

A visit to Miss Doreen’s Home for Girls, an orphanage many miles outside of town, gives Harrison just the woman he needs, even if she is a little rough around the edges.
Maggie has been an orphan for as long as she can remember. She never expected to be married to a Duke, let alone put over his knee and punished by him. Maggie quickly learns to keep in line around Harrison and desperately tries to keep out of his sight, but when she starts to fall in love with him, she is determined to make him love her.
For ADULTS ONLY over the age of eighteen. Contains subjects that may be offensive to some people. Do not purchase or read this book if these subjects are uncomfortable for you: spanking of an adult woman, punishment, domestic discipline. All characters are over the age of eighteen and not related by blood.

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The Reality of being an Adult and Other Life Lessons

What a whirlwind the past few weeks have been here at home. Many changes and lessons over the course of the past month and although I haven’t been busy per se, I have felt like life is rushing by.

I finally got a new computer!! This is the number one reason it has been so long since I have not only been online but also have not been able to write. My old computer had it’s issues and *ironically* right after my warranty expired the computer wouldn’t hold a charge, would frequently freeze, and began formatting my work into hieroglyphics and symbols even after paying to get it fixed just weeks ago! So I broke down and just bought a new one…Windows 8 is throwing me for a loop, but I am slowly getting used to it.

I can tend to be a bit of a procrastinator and it is something that I have asked my man to help me with in our life. Well the past weeks I have used the excuse of a temperamental computer to not only procrastinate on my school work, but also to completely fail to register for summer courses in time. Taking summer courses would have made my graduation date in December. This has been my plan all along, I am already behind on graduation because of procrastination in the beginning of graduate school. I had planned on graduating this year but the courses I need are already full for the summer term and now I will be graduating in the spring of 2014. Not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, but it is a setback all the same.

I also need to catch up on some school work, so it will be another late night for me. I heard once that we can never truly ‘catch up’ on our sleep. It makes me wonder if feeling tired will become so normal to me that I forget what it feels like to be completely awake and living life.

When I was a child I used to spend my spring and summer days running throughout the neighborhood, hardly setting foot at home as I was always off on one adventure or another with the other kids in the neighborhood. All I had to remember was to be home when the street lights came on at dusk….sometimes I wish for the simplicity of those days when I had little worry for hard deadlines or responsibilities. And I definitely wouldn’t have to worry about writing a research paper on inferential statistics!